Faux Blog Advertisements

racheltopDo marketers really think we are that stupid? YES

I’ve been bombarded with tweets, in addition to seeing side ads, etc. for blogs offering to show you how “Amanda lost 35 lbs using these two over the counter products” or “I’m a SAHM who whitened her teeth for free. I’ll share my secret with you for free”


Now I guess these wouldn’t bother me so much if I didn’t occasionally click on them hoping to find someone’s story. Just like some of my stories. Mind you, I don’t advertise them on FB, but I do tweet about my stories. So I figure that maybe there is something to the tweet and it’s worth a click to check it out.


This is what I get… Rachel Ray Blog – I lost 52 lbs. I like Rachel Ray. I think she’s cute, charming, and down to earth. Just a little to peppy for me some days. But hey, I love hearing other peoples success stories. Besides, she’s lost weight and we kinda have the same body type, so it’s worth a look, right?


It’s not Rachel Ray at all. It’s Alyssa’s Blog telling me about how she followed Rachel’s diet & it worked & as an added bonus she is going to show me how to get the stuff for free. Lucky me. There are even comments under her story from other people thanking her for her story & free offers. What a girl, right?


Something seems to be wrong with this blog… Comments are closed, all the links at the bottom of the page are bad, all the side likes: About Us, Contact Us, Privacy Policy, etc. all link back to the page you are actually on. The only link that seems to be working it to go buy the products they are selling.

So why set it up to look like a blog? Do they think we are that stupid? Do marketers think if we can’t have a chat (leave comments) with Alyssa or go to any other page on her blog that we will believe she is even for real? It’s really bothersome. If this works to fool some people, these people should be quarantined and sterilized, thus preventing them from having children. No sense in dumbing down future generations.

I will now remove myself from this soapbox and let the rest of you go back to work. Ahhh I feel so much better getting this off my chest.

Have a nice day!


Women Blogging Naked!

No, not me, I usually blog in my PJ’s. But, I wanted to through some great blogs I read that are truly NAKED in the emotional and spiritual sense of the word. These ladies touch on real life, real emotion and real issues of our day.  Not only do they get real about relationships and the latest topic of hot debate, but they share their weaknesses. Being of the voyeuristic world of blogging, we’re allowed a glimpse in to their struggles as well as joys. What I find truly remarkable about this is that we are all there, together. Whether it’s the struggle in our relationship with Christ or family or work, we’ve all been there.  We know what it feels like. We can relate in some way whether we’re young or old, working or unemployed, single or married.  There is something spiritual that connects us as humans, as women. That is to feel naked in our emotions. But it’s nice to know we are not alone. 

To top it all off, these ladies all have a great sense of adventure and hilarious wit that keeps you coming back!  Add them to your reader today!

Megaphone:  Megan Hyatt is the most adventurous soul, always finding great joy and great wisdom. She’s a funny lady and an incredible writer! It’s in the genes.

Wonderfalls:  Andrea Lopez has a great single girl, New Yorker attitude that is opinionated, confident and brilliant. She is embracing her new life in the South surrounded by friends & family! She makes you think!

Kate Uncensored:  Kate Anon, yes she is anonymous and she intends to keep it that way.  She will take you to the heart of the matter in a split second. One of the most real, raw blogs I’ve ever read.  PS. Follow her on twitter @kateanon, she’s a hoot, but not for the faint of heart!

Angle of Repose:  Angela Hart has two genres of posts: ones that will have you rolling on floor laughing so hard you snort! & ones that make you question your head and your heart to find where you are in this life.

A Day in the Life of:  Marissa Hyatt is a seeker, an adventurer, a Christ-lover and a wise old soul. Take a read in to this girl’s heart as she navigates life with such wonderful zest.

Authenticity Revisited…

A week or so ago I posted Me & My Big Mouth!.  It is a post about communicating honestly with the people in our lives.  Wow, has it generated some feedback.  Here is one of the emails I received this past week on that subject.

[FROM MY BLOG] So whether you are on the giving end or the receiving end I think we have to get over some of our sensitivities and start being more authentic in what we say.  Say it! Own it!

I referred to it because someone said something to me that was considerably out of line.  When I responded with something similar, he told “I was just joking.”  My response to him was “So was I.  You didn’t find it funny?  Interesting.  Neither did I.”   Then I referred to your statement.  I told him I agreed with it up to a certain point.  I told him “Yes, we should speak with conviction.  We should say what we mean, and mean what we say.  However, I believe we should THINK before we say it.”   I think there are a dozen ways to say one thing.  I don’t see a problem with saying something in a way that’s more helpful, and less hurtful…and I don’t find it any less authentic to do so.

So yes, I referred to your blog.  Blogs are supposed to make people think…spark conversation….yours has done just that.  Thanks.  -E 

No, thank you E.  He is right!  We should always speak with conviction and think before we speak. Shaun Groves made a point of this in his post: Semantic Stretch: Authentic.  Being cruel, harsh, chronically depressed and unleashing it on the general public does not make you authentic. It does however, make you a very good candidate for counseling or medical intervention.  It is also a reflection of your character.

Now, let’s examine my original post and I will clarify the intent.  My post was speaking to personal relationships.  Communication in a personal relationship is so very critical.  Take a look at this analogy…

A relationship is similar to a mosaic. It has many pieces to it. These pieces are moments in our lives, such as: wedding, births, initimate nights, playing in the park with the family, dinner with friends, going to church, etc.  These pieces of mosaic are special to us and bring us together as lovers, as partners and as friends. But what about the in between? That’s where communication comes in to play.  It is the glue, the sticky that holds all the moments in between together. If it goes by the wayside or is not transparent and honest, then it loses its stickiness. The glue is what holds the mosaic together. If it is failing, the mosaic will crumble.  It is the same in a relationship, if communication is failing, it will also crumble.  Does this make sense?

Here’s an example…  My GF called me about a month or so ago to vent about her husband.  They had made a joint decision on something very important to their family that would impact all of them.  When the time came, he made the decision differently than what they had agreed.  He told her what he had done and she said oh, ok.  Then she hangs up and calls me.  As I was listening to her vent, as all good GFs do, I began to wonder why she just didn’t ask him why he changed the plan. So I asked.  She hesitated a bit and said, well I didn’t want to question him or ruin his moment, etc. And I said, “How is saying, ‘I thought we agreed to do this…., Can you help me understand why you decided to do this instead….’ a bad thing? I mean he probably has a very good reason and you would most likely agree or at least understand, right?”  But instead, she was angry and on the phone with me.  I could hear the resentment in her voice.  Repeat episodes of events like this erode the glue in a relationship.

So, my post was driven by me sending an email to a friend that I thought I had actually saved to my draft folder.  I was scared of being honest about my feelings and how that would impact our friendship. I had another email also drafted that was more tutti-frutti as my friend called it. She said it sounded as if Miss Teen USA had written it. She liked the the email that was accidently sent because it was real. It was me. It wasn’t mean. It wasn’t harsh. It was just me being honest with my friend about my feelings.  I was scared to send the email. Because I think I was worried about appearing to be something other than myself, as if that wouldn’t be acceptable. 

Here’s the final bit of mosaic analogy for the day… when you develop a mosaic (relationship), from day one you have to start with a good solid base of glue (communication). The mosaic pieces (special moments) are then put in place and built up over time and held together with more glue (communication), but it all starts with a solid foundation.

So, is E right?  Yes!  Is Shaun right? Yes!  Am I right? I think so.  What do you think???????

E is Erik Blue, lead of this awesome band called Erik Blue & The Bomb Squad.  Check out his MySpace page!

Me & My Big Mouth!

Have you ever said something and the minute it comes out, you are standing there, with your mouth wide open and a knot in your stomach, wishing you could take it back?   I’m not talking about the accidental curse word slipping out in front of grandma or the ‘you’re going to wear that?’ retorical to the spouse or friend right before you walk out the door. I’m talking about the honest, laying it on the line, this is me and this is how my heart feels kind of stuff. 

I grew up in a family that said what was on their mind, to a fault.  It didn’t matter if it was insulting or hurtful or even cruel. I hated it and did my best not to follow in their footsteps.  Yet when I moved south, I still had to learn to temper my tongue to a more genteel manner as I found my crass Yankee ways were getting me in to trouble. 

But have we gone too far? In this time of political correctness have we went too far as a society to shy away from the truth.  In conversation after conversation I have with friends I hear, “Oh, I would never tell **** that. It might hurt their feelings.”  But it’s the truth and now you are both living in some fabricated reality, making decisions and taking action based on non-truths. How can that be good for anyone?

And I’m not talking about living in a world of absolutes, there’s a lot of gray out there and I live in grey.  But I think we have to be honest about feelings.  Where we stand.  I’m in a unique position right now with my life and my divorce and I am depending very heavily on my friends and my family to be blatantly honest with me about a lot of things.  I need that.  I have to have it.  Especially right now.  They can’t be afraid to tell me that they think a decision I am making may not be the best one for me or my kids and why.  Because I may have not thought of it from that perspective. I may have missed something that they are seeing. And I need those people around me who can look me in the eye and tell me with love in their hearts that I’m making a mistake and this is why.  

On the flip side of that I think we all have to be real with ourselves and the people in our lives.  We need to speak from the heart and sometimes from the gut.  It has to be authentic.  I was talking to my BFF, Cheryl (there you go sweetie, your officially blogged) about this very topic and she brought up an excellent point.  When did we get so scared of being authentic?  We are both so tired of holding back or being afraid to say what we really want because we are afraid of what the other person might think of us or that they may not like us or it may change things or whatever.  But ya know, if we don’t say it, then we are the ones changing things because we change ourselves into something that is not true.  We end up presenting a side of us that is  not authentic and that does no one any good.

So whether you are on the giving end or the receiving end I think we have to get over some of our sensitivities and start being more authentic in what we say.  Say it! Own it!