Intimacy Without Intricacies
This is a line from the movie Deception. It was based on a scenario of having random ‘encounters’ with strangers and not having to deal with the minutiae of a relationship. It struck a nerve. Is is possible to have real intimacy without intricacies?
This made me think, a lot. Going beyond the implication of just sex and applying it to all of our relationships, even the one we have with God. It is in fact what we do, isn’t it? In this microwave society, we want everything to come easy, in half the time, with little to no effort or strain. It’s what is possibly the cause of a great number of divorces driven by poor communication.
Bear with me as I peel the onion another layer. I’m big on defining words, so let’s start there…
Intimacy: ~ a close, familiar, and usually affectionate or loving personal relationship with another person or group. ~ a close association with or detailed knowledge or deep understanding of a place, subject, period of history, etc.
Intricacy: ~ marked by elaborately complex detail. ~ having many interrelated parts or facets; entangled or involved
If you look at the two words’ definitions, especially those highlighted in blue, it would seem that you absolutely can not have true intimacy without intricacy. For intimacy thrives only in an environment of detailed, close association; which is precisely what intricacy brings to the table.
I’ve seen this example in many relationships. Unfortunately, I’ve seen it fail more often than thrive. Two people, whether they are spouses or close friends, need to maintain a level of communication that is constant and somewhat deep to nurture their relationship. Without it, life begins to take hold and slowly but surely creates a divide in the relationship. It doesn’t happen over night, but over time. Without a connection, without the conversation, distance in the relationship ensues and eventually you are so used not to talking, you have nothing to say. You have either found someone else to talk to or are living in painful silence. This has happened to me with a couple of friends, in my marriage and even in my relationship with God.
The long and short of it is, you have to have communication, a detailed knowledge with integrated parts to thrive in a relationship. Thus, intricacies create true intimacy.
So where does Twitter stand in all of this?
That’s easy! What modern day communication tool do we use that creates (somewhat) detailed knowledge providing familiarity and close association with those who use it? Twitter!
Historically at work, I would see co-workers brush off phone calls from their spouses as quickly as possible or people who didn’t speak to their spouses all day. I also saw just a few co-workers who would keep in constant contact with each other 4, 5, even 6 phone calls a day. At the time, I thought it was insane and very unproductive. But now as I have grown older and wiser I see the benefit, the intimacy, that communication between two people can create.
This is where Twitter really rocks! It lets you stay in constant communication with people you love. Even just the general tweets help develop a sense of communication and relationship. Throw in some direct ‘private’ tweets during the day and BAM! you have a great recipe for a creating intimacy in your relationship!
Two people who exemplify this on a daily basis are @gailhyatt and @michaelhyatt. I was very taken aback by the sweetness in their public tweets to each other and about each other. At first, I though someone was sucking up because they were in the doghouse. LOL! But then I realized that this is just their expression of closeness and intimacy in their relationship that they are continuing to nurture and grow. It’s a breath of fresh air to see that real life example of such a positive relationship.
So, to those couples out there tweeting together – Great job! Keep it up! Spice up some of those direct tweets and who knows what will happen. JUST REMEMBER TO USE THE ‘D’ TO MAKE THEM DIRECT. The rest of us don’t want to know what kind of special evening your planning for your spouse. 🙂
If your spouse isn’t quite game, have them read this post and see if it changes their mind. Good Luck!