My kids are super heroes in my opinion. They’re strong tough little nuggets! But lately Jacob has been having a really tough time with Dad being gone. He usually doesn’t say much or get upset. He talks about his Dad working in Hungary. But it is often just a side comment. Unfortunately he’s started acting out a lot especially at bed time. Since I consulted a child psychologist, I was prepared for this. Fighting bed time, waking up crying, wetting the bed, these are all normal behaviors for going through this process of abandonment. So I’ve talked to Jacob about why he gets upset and if he’s mad. He has actually said, Yes, I’m mad at Daddy… We’ve talked about how being angry is ok, but not behaving is not. If he’s angry or upset or sad or just needing to cry, he should talk to me about it. Remarkably enough he has a couple of times, started out acting out and I’ll ask him what he’s feeling and he says, “I miss my daddy”. This gives me the opportunity to settle him down and hold him and talk about Daddy and his feelings. What an amazing but sad thing that he has to process this at the tender age of 3!
Me too! Trust me it’s not easy to try to distinguish between him just being a 3 yo and testing limits and really hurting and acting out. But I’m glad I’ve taken this approach becaust the episodes seem to be getting less intense and less frequent.
They just discovered Spiderman and love to dress up in their capes. So our little talk always includes that sometimes super heroes cry too.
How do you deal with your child hurting and acting out?