Speaking of Silence


Worship at The People‘s Church had a great message today. It was about noise and about silence. It wrapped up the last in a series on prayer. After Michael sang a bit, we were met with a video from Rob Bell about noise in our life. The noise all around us. Then the screen went blank. And the next few minutes the sanctuary was completely silent (except for the coughers – gee, sounded like cold & flu season). Then on the screen the video played – just words, no music, no talking, nothing but silence and words. It was awesome.

Why are we so uncomfortable in silence? It’s beyond just work and family and social time. Even when we are alone, are we really alone or do we talk on our cell phone or Twitter with someone about what we are eating for lunch?   (Sidenote: My Mother’s Day Lunch compliments of 2.5 yr old twins – hot dogs & bananas) 

I know when I get a moments peace to myself: I blog. If I can’t blog, I get on my cell phone and try to connect with someone I haven’t talked to in a while or turn on the tv or listen to my ipod.  I always thought I did this because it’s much easier to do it in the peace & quiet without the kids vs. with them in the room.  Then I thought about it some more. And I really came up with one conclusion: I am not comfortable in my own skin in complete solitude. 

To be alone with my thoughts really makes me nervous. I need distraction. So why is that? Right now I think it’s because of the stress in my life of going through the divorce and some of the relationship problems I’m having with friends and my apparent lack of employability.  See, just writing about it makes me depressed. I really need to distract myself and stay busy to avoid thinking about the things that have went wrong.

I would rather focus on putting to action a plan of what is going to happen in the future.  To do that takes noise. I’m an energy person. I need stuff going on to keep me going on.  But what about this plan am I leaving up to God? How am I engaging Him to help me? In prayer, of course. But what am I doing to listen to what he says to me to lead me? Ummm, basically nothing.  I’m like a 1 yr old on Baby Einstein crack videos. I need input. I need noise. There was one particular quote in the video that I loved. In summation it asked What would happen if we spent as much time in prayer and silence as we did discussing our problems with friends, family & shrinks.  That really spoke to me. Because I love me some good head-shrinking! (excuse me, therapists – I call mine, my shrink, he knows it & thinks it’s humourous)Mind you, Dr. F, started out as our marriage counselor and evolved into my therapist because he already had the history. Thanks goodness!  I would hate to have to recant that whole mess of a marriage to anyone. 

well, at the end of the service, when there was a bit more music and offering time. These words came to me…

The Voice inside

  Speaks through the noise

 

I do not listen

  I can not hear

 

  Unless I am silent

  Unless I am still

  Unless I am open

    To accept His will

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